A little dishing on sports

It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp

Can you believe the New York Yankees have failed to win a World Series in 152 days – and counting?!  I have to admit, I had not given that little statistic much thought until my Road Dawg, Fat Al, ranted about Chan Ho Park’s performance for the Yankees last night and how it promises to be a “long year” for the Bronx Bombers.  It’s painful to consider, but since Al was born, 132,756 pints of ale ago, the Yankees have only won 7 World Series titles and appeared in the ALCS a mere 10 times.

How do Yankee fans manage to soldier on, knowing that on average they are going to have to wait, gasp, 4 years between World Series appearances?  I know that as a lifelong Mets and Knicks fan, I can hardly relate.  I’m sure Cubs fans and Padres fans and Indians fans and SF Giants are nodding as well.  We are all so mellowed by success that we hardly find it worth reacting when our team loses on opening night, even to a hated rival.

Fat Al has been forced to resign himself to the likelihood that his team will struggle to win 100 games this year, probably only after spending millions on a player who will shore up some area of weakness on the team like their crushing need for a left-hander who can get the second out in the 5th inning of an interleague game in a stadium named after a bank on August 1st.  Oh, how I’m sure Fat Al longs for the consistency the Mets have in being able to run Oliver Perez out there every 5th day, rather than having someone who is, you know, good.  I have polled remaining Mets fans and we are by consensus anticipatorily disdainful of the August 29th deal the Yankees are going to make for that right-handed bench player they are going to obtain just in case they face a really tough left-hander in the postseason AND Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixeira suddenly retire to join the Men’s Professional Volleyball Tour AND Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada are detained indefinitely in rural Georgia after a night of clubbing with Ben Roethlisberger.  I mean, won’t that shatter the confidence of inevitable May acquisition, Albert Pujols?

Of course, I am joking and I hope Fat Al will forgive my lack of sensitivity.  I’m sure he’s still bitter that Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee and Merrill Lynch all got moved and the Yankees didn’t get any of them.  At least they’ve got LeBron James.  Or do they?

The poor New York Yankees, with their $3 billion payroll, new ballpark, classic logo, unrivaled baseball tradition and iconic uniforms are in for a tough stretch.  You’ll just have to accept that Yankee fans.  It’s the price you pay for sticking with your moribund franchise through thick and thicker.  I’ve been looking at the upcoming schedule and I don’t see how the Yankees get to the All-Star break with more than a 4-5 game lead at the most.  That’s factoring in the grim reality that Chan Ho Park is on the team.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is Justin Verlander just closed on his new home in Westchester.


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