A little dishing on sports

Catching Tiger By His Tail: What Ever Happened to Accountability?

I am Tiger Woods. Actually, I’m not. I’m just a guy who has something he wants to say and has started a blog. My name is Fred, actually, and that probably doesn’t particularly interest you. It’s not like I’m Fred Sanford or Mercury or of Hollywood or Krueger. Those names would get your attention. Just like the name Tiger Woods gets your attention. I was thinking about asking Mr. Woods to endorse my blog. I don’t have anything to pay him, of course. I could give him ketchup packets. I have those all over the house. Batteries, too. If batteries were currency, I’d be, well, Tiger Woods – at least financially. I have nothing of value to offer Tiger Woods in exchange for his endorsement, except perhaps my good name. Of course, these days, Tiger Woods doesn’t even have that to offer me. You may have heard; Mr. Woods has received a fair amount of negative publicity lately.

It’s amazing to think that just 30 days ago, people were falling all over themselves to get near Tiger Woods – and when I say people, I’m referring to a broader demographic than 20-something year old blondes seeking reality shows. Bono was dedicating songs to him at concerts, advertisers were crafting marketing campaigns around his image. It was good to be Tiger Woods. Now it turns out, of course, that we had no idea who Tiger Woods was.

I’m all for celebrities maintaining some level of privacy. I think it’s disgusting when paparazzi are engaged in high speed chases just to get pictures of Britney Spears at the supermarket which would unlock the mystery of her cereal preferences. I already know the answer anyway. Hint: all. Do we really information about Megan Fox’s Duane Reade runs? Actually, I wouldn’t mind more info on that so I could schedule my trips there. Bad example. My point is that just because someone achieves some level of notoriety doesn’t mean the rest of us need to be all up in his or her business. Note: I wrote achieved, so all bets are off for Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, any cast member of The Hills and Nick and Brooke Hogan. Seriously, though, we have to establish some boundaries that allow the famous among us to have some semblance of a normal life, whatever that is.

So that means we should stay out of this whole Tiger Woods business with his ex-wife, right? Not so fast. Tiger Woods is one of the world’s most accomplished and recognizable athletes; he’s a handsome man; he has long been surrounded by an aura of success. So if Tiger takes all that and goes home to his wife, or mistresses 1-99 (and possibly beyond), I’m willing to leave him alone. Tiger didn’t do that. No, Tiger cashed in on his aura. He cashed in on his success. He cashed in on the natural desire that ordinary people have to be just like Tiger. Tiger posed for pictures, did voiceovers on the radio, commandeered my television, and said, “Trust me, I’m Tiger Woods and I think you should buy Wheaties, Gatorade, Nike, Tag Heuer, Accenture, American Express and the list goes on and on. In 2007, Tiger received $100 million dollars because he said, “Trust me, I’m Tiger Woods.” I don’t begrudge Tiger that money. He earned the right to have companies believe that Tiger’s vouching was worth major coin. For what, though, was Tiger paid $100 million? Was it for the time it took him to film commercials, glad hand business executives, deign to shake hands with the masses? Yes, in part. In small part. Most of that $100 million came from the fact that we trusted Tiger Woods and the companies that paid him knew that. So when Tiger’s credibility takes a hit, isn’t the reason for that credibility hit relevant information for me as I decide whether to buy Nike or Adidas? Note: if either Nike or Adidas would like to sponsor my blog, I am open to starting negotiations at 2 gently used AA batteries. In other words, when people decry the frenzy by the press to cover this story, complaining that they’re invading Tiger’s privacy and that this is a matter for the two parties to work out, are they right? I suggest to you that they are not.

Tiger Woods is accountable to me. That doesn’t give me access to his private life, but if he did something like — and I’m not saying this happened, rather I am using it as an example of a scenario that would trigger a legitimate public inquiry — sleep with 10,001 women who are not his wife, have his wife find out about it (because after all, it’s always on the 10,001st mistress that cheating spouses get caught), chase him down the street with a nine iron and cause him to have an accident that requires emergency services to respond, that would be an example of something that might be relevant to me as a consumer of products Tiger Woods endorses.

Look, reasonable people may differ, but I stand by what I wrote here. And if you don’t like it, complain to your friends because I’m not opening a comments section so people can say mean things about my blog posts. However if you like what I wrote here, well, hmmm, I’ll have to figure out how to get only the positive comments.

Happy Holidays!


3 Responses to “Catching Tiger By His Tail: What Ever Happened to Accountability?”

  1. tiger’s life is dominated with protecting a brand. when the payoff is in the neighborhood of hundreds of millions, its worth it. problem here is if the image of the brand is more important to you than your soul.
    could it be he never took the time to live life and instead jumped into the lucrative brand that became tiger woods? seemed worth it but now its time for tiger to work on the person he is, not the brand. americans are quick to forgive, the brand can be rebuilt. an opportunity to face yourself in adversity and grow is more precious.

  2. […] Her response: “How about Tiger Woods?”  I furrowed my brow and answered that I’ve already written about Tiger’s lack of accountability; Tiger’s pitiful first apology; and Tiger’s miraculous recovery from sex addiction.  Unless […]

  3. […] Her response: “How about Tiger Woods?”  I furrowed my brow and answered that I’ve already written about Tiger’s lack of accountability; Tiger’s pitiful first apology; and Tiger’s miraculous recovery from sex addiction.  Unless […]

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